7 Ways to Raise "Good" Kids, According to Harvard Psychologists

7 Ways to Raise "Good" Kids, According to Harvard Psychologists

Turns out the best way to raise good kids doesn't involve expensive private tutors or fancy summer camps. Instead, it all comes down to making them care. In a recent report, Harvard psychologists revealed that children who think about others are happier, plain and simple. Which is great because, as we well know, a happy kid also means a happy mom. Here are the 7 parenting strategies they outlined that are proven to raise caring children.

Put Fun Time on the Calendar

Why: Kids learn about care and respect when they are treated with care and respect, psychologists say. The best time to give them care and respect—when you're doing something fun together!

How: It's as simple as reading your child a bedtime story or playing tennis together. "Build one-on-one time into their weekly schedules rather than leaving it to chance," the findings suggest. That way you'll treat it just as importantly as that work meeting, and it's more likely to happen on a regular basis. Asking questions like "what was the best part of your day?" and "what did you accomplish today that makes you feel good?" can help them learn to think beyond the surface level of their actions and identify their feelings. 

Be a Strong Role Model

Why: The experts say your child learns ethical values and behaviors by watching you.

How: Pay close attention to whether or not you're practicing honesty, fairness, and caring for yourself. "Nobody is perfect all the time," the Harvard report points out. "That is why it's important for us, in fact, to model for children humility, self-awareness, and honesty by acknowledging and working on our mistakes and flaws." Your kids know you're not perfect—or they will when they get to their teenage years—so own it and use it as a chance to talk through your mistakes with your child.

Prioritize Caring for Others

Why: Children won't know that caring about others will make them feel better unless you teach them, experts say.

How: Set high ethical expectations. The findings suggest prioritizing commitments, doing the right thing (even when it's hard), and standing up for values of fairness and justice. Do this and you're on the road to raising someone concerned with the world around them.

Encourage Them To Say Thank You

Why: Children need to practice gratitude. "It's important for them to acknowledge the many people who contribute to their lives," according to the psychologists. It will grow them to be helpful, generous, compassionate, and forgiving—plus, they'll be happier and healthier, the studies found.

How: Make sure your child is showing gratitude on the reg—dinnertime, in the car, at a friend's house, or routinely reflecting and thinking of others. The report says daily repetition is key. Pretty soon, it will be second nature to your kid.

Talk About World Problems

Why: It's important for children to think about their social circle of family and friends, while also being concerned with the big picture. "It's important for children to develop concern for people who live in other cultures and communities," the experts say. This will make them empathetic and prepare them to connect with people of all backgrounds.

How: Discuss global hardships with your child and use newspapers, magazines, or the TV to start the conversation. You can also prompt them to think about what it's like to be someone else. Even if it's just the new kid in class, all of these little thoughtful moments will add up.

Motivate Them to Join a Cause

Why: By getting involved in the community, your child will learn about fairness, loyalty, ethics, and how to work with others. Most children are naturally interested in ethical questions, so by getting involved, they'll be able to navigate their way through these issues.

How: Involve your child in a cause that takes action against problems they face or addresses an area that interests them, the experts suggest. Bonus points if you actually do it with them.

Navigate Through Their Feelings

Why: Kids need to learn how to deal with their emotions in productive ways. Working on this with your child will cut down on the fussy fits and bad attitude they may express. Sometimes our ability to care for others is limited by feelings of anger, shame, or envy, so it's important to overcome these emotions to transform your child into a caring person.

How: Identify feelings with your child, figure out resolutions with them, and train them to work through problems calmly. The report suggests a three-step trick: "stop, take a deep breath through the nose and exhale through the mouth, and count to five." Once they're calm, then you should talk about the problem